I Am Blameworthy for My Own Laziness

Which word do you like better: Accountability or blameworthy?

Think about it. Then get back to me.

I have goals. You have goals too, right? The goals we have, we want to accomplish them. We set them for a reason. Maybe your goal is to finish the basement or to get that promotion or finish that painting or finish this semester or get a good grade or become a professional photographer. Your goals could be fitness and health related, job related, family, friends, social… the list goes on. The point is, you and I set your goals for a reason. We want something.

So, why is it so hard to motivate ourselves to go after and do what it takes to accomplish that/those goal(s)?

My greatest goal at the present is to write, to finish a story I have been working on for years. I want to get all my ideas out on the digital page into book form and then edit and edit and edit and revise and revise and revise until I feel I can finally say, “This is good.” I look forward to that. I’m a nerd, I know.

And when I sit down and the ideas poor out of my mind, making their way to my fingertips, through the keyboard, and onto the computer screen, bliss. I love it. It feels amazing! And when I’m done for the day, I think, “This was great! I can do this again tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be excited to write and start as soon as I can.”

And then tomorrow comes and I end up playing games on my tablet or scrolling through Instagram, and pretty soon it’s time for lunch and I didn’t write a single word.

What?!

What happened to my motivation? Where did the I-won’t-procrastinate-tomorrow Sara go? Come back! *Deep whine*

I am to blame, right? That seems like such a horrible word. To be blameworthy. To be guilty. Ugh.

Accountability is not much better. I associate it usually with doing something bad, and so I’m the one who must suffer the consequences. Yuck.

But, what better word than accountable is there to describe a person being responsible for their own actions? Culpable, maybe? Censurable? Guilty? At fault? All yucky words!

But, I am responsible for my actions. I make excuses, sure. And don’t get me wrong, sometimes excuses are legit and they take priority, such as family.

Today, I cuddled with my puppy and played games on my tablet, for way longer than I planned when I first opened up the app. “Just for a few minutes,” I told myself. But I kept playing and the few minutes turned into almost an hour. I was doing quite well, you see, and how could I stop when I still had lives? But, finally I put the tablet down and I felt guilt. It was almost lunch time and I had lazied away my morning. And I realized I could have cuddled with my puppy and started writing.

Do you feel guilty yet? I feel horrible. Why did I write this?

*LOUD WHINE*

I thought I was supposed to feel empowered on this blog…

But, I’m human. And this is just the way things are. What I’m talking about here is real. Simple and honest.

Now here comes the empowering part, I hope:

I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect.

We’re going to have days when the motivation to get started is not where we want it to be. There will be days when we take a few hours to do something seemingly inconsequential or not as important as what we could be doing to accomplish our goal. And that’s okay. Because, you know what, we can always improve and do better tomorrow. And as long as we start writing or working a little on that project at some point in the day, we’ve worked toward our goal, even just a tiny bit.

No one said that to achieve your goal you must get up and start working on it right away and devote your entire attention to it. Well, I lie. Someone may have said something like that. This is a big world with a lot of people in it and a lot of words and quotes and such. But their thinking is dumb. You can’t focus only on one thing. You have a family or a fur baby or a job or a mouth.

The point is that we have lives and lots of interests. And we’re human. If we don’t focus as hard one day, we can do better tomorrow.

I’m going to add, don’t beat yourself up. I know, it’s easier said than done. But if you can accomplish even a little today, you did an awesome job working toward your goal. You’ll get there. And hopefully the more you keep trying, the easier the motivation will come and the less you and I will think of blameworthy related words.

Because I need it too: YOU GOT THIS!

Posted by

Writer. What more can be said. Actually, a lot. So, just read and find out.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s